Metal Not So Heavy

by Nancy Westlake

I won't call Backseat Delightlah! bad, because really, it's not. But what the hell is it? Heavy metal's most bizarre and sexually explicit band has gone Billy Joel on us!

That's right, Abysmal Crucifix starts out rocking, sucking us in with several uptempo, melodically pleasing heavy songs. Once we're deep in the songwriting claws of Girth McDürchstein, he springs on us a series of songs that would give the "Piano Man" a run for his money.

Two years ago, Metallica cut off their hair and put out Load, the worst album in their uneven history. Abysmal Crucifix hasn't cut their hair, and this album is probably their best — but the principle's the same! They never reached the popularity level of Metallica, but what they lacked in audience they more than made up for in bizarre stage antics and truly incredible music (sometimes "incredible" in the positive, "this song is great" sense; more often, it fell into the "I find it impossible to believe a band would release this song with a straight face" category).

From a feminist perspective, the album is by far their most sensitive. Gone are the confusing, sexist lyrics of Two Berries on a Twig; instead, we have a mix of positive and negative portrayals of Girth McDürchstein's favorite themes: incest, infidelity, and stalking. However, Backseat Delightlah! has more nuanced, interesting lyrics than any previous Abysmal Crucifix release.

If you like music, or are a fan of Abysmal Crucifix more for their reputation than their sound, give Backseat Delightlah! a try. Just don't expect it to be as hard (in more ways than one) as Star Sex.

Reprinted from BUST Magazine, August 1998